Intimacy and infidelity
Intimacy is a beautiful expression of love. It allows you to be both physically and emotionally bonded to someone whom you care about so deeply. Intimacy is literally giving one’s self to the other person, it is a symbol of their trust, commitment, love, and admiration. In my opinion, physical intimacy is one of the most beautiful gifts that God has given us, when used properly within marriage.
Sex has been so distorted by Hollywood, and today’s society. Instead of it being something that is sacred it’s now just sexual. Its over glorified form of hot and heavy sex is portrayed in movies to show you only the pleasure and self-gratification that comes through this distortion of love making. What the movies don’t show you is how there is a real and consequential change in the brain when we partake in these physical acts. For men, when they are sexually active with someone, they feel more connected due more to the action itself and the release of dopamine. And for women, there is a chemical release of oxytocin which is known as the “attachment hormone” also creating a connection to that person. You could argue that there is no such thing as a, “one-night stand” with no strings attached. Whether you are aware of it or not, there is an attachment that happens when we share the most intimate part of ourselves. Wouldn’t we want to share that with someone we truly love and want to be with for the rest of our lives?
There is this common misconception that sex is just so natural and easy, when in reality it takes time and effort to get it right, especially when men and women have a very different response cycle to sex. Maybe this is why couple have problems in their marriage? Women need to feel safe and warm first before wanting sex, as where men want to have sex in order to feel safe and warm. See the problems surfacing? She might think he only wants sex and he might think that she is being cold and distancing herself from him. When in reality there could be just a lack of communication or understanding. If both sides in the marriage think they aren’t getting pleasurable intimacy they might turn to outside resources to find it. Infidelity is never ok in any shape or form you get it.
Whether it’s something as small as daydreaming about someone else who isn’t your spouse, to a full-on affair, none of these actions are justifiable no matter the situation. In marriage there should be only complete commitment and loyalty to your companion. Infidelity often starts with something small, like chatting on Facebook with an old high school friend or venting to your coworker about your problems. Even if it is small, we run the risk if we share personal things about us to someone other than our spouse. People don’t see or ignore the warning signs that we pass when we start down that road. Marriage is hard but that doesn’t give us the excuse to abandon ship when the waters get rough. Couples who stick things out and work hard to fix their mistakes actually report having a higher marital satisfaction rate.
No relationship or marriage is perfect, but the most important things to remember is that there is so much potential for love and growth when we take the time to work on things together. Intimacy and love are like a flower. You have to be so delicate and gentle with it to make sure it’s getting all the proper care for it to flourish into something so beautiful.
This is Our Happy Place 