Welcome to My New Blog

Parenting

Parenting is something that everyone does differently in their family. The way that you were raised will be very different for the way that your cousin John grew up, that’s what makes parenting so fascinating. All families do it, but no one does it exactly that same even when using certain techniques. What are some of these techniques you might ask? Well there is no way to plan out parenting to an exact science, but there are a few things that will help you navigate how to both discipline and teach your kids in a loving effective manner.

Dr. Michael H. Popkin, created what he calls, “The Needs Approach” which is when we look at the child’s behavior, see what the need is and follow up with an effective approach. One of the most important points Dr. Popkin talks about, is the child’s need for “Contact/Belonging” Everyone especially kids need physical contact with others. It’s the same concept as a newborn baby, when that baby gets upset what does it want most? It wants mom to hold them; this creates a sense of security a sense of belonging. This in essence is true for adults as well. We all need physical contact to thrive as human beings. As parents we can show our love and support to our children through a hug, a hand on the shoulder, or pat on the back, this will help our attention seeking children who often act out and just want your love more than anything. What children want most of all is to know that as parents we see them and care.

We wonder why kids rebel when we make it so obvious that they shouldn’t do something. Did we ever stop to consider that because we said don’t, that’s exactly why they do? Kids want the opportunity for choices and to practice their own independence. When circumstances permit let them make the call instead of just forcing them to do what, we want. Parents should never be a dictator in their kids’ lives, though they shouldn’t be a push over either.

John Rosemond at Prager University said that most parents are lacking in, “vitamin N” they don’t tell their kids no enough and they become entitled and irresponsible when we give into all their demands. There has to be a proper balance and set of boundaries because kids need structure and patience from us. All of our actions have a natural consequence in this life and sometimes the best way for kids to learn is to face those consequences. Teaching them responsibility is the best way for them to deal with the natural consequences. Most the time it’s better for them to experience those things, but there is time as parents that it is better to intervene if we know that the outcome is

1. Too dangerous.
2. The natural consequence is too far off in the future for them to see it now.
3. When their natural consequence will affect or hurt other people.  

Keeping our children safe is the most important thing as a parent and we would never want them to put themselves in a situation that could be potentially dangerous.

Like I said earlier there is no exact science to parenting because every child responds to things differently, but we can control the way we love them and how we prepare and teach. We can lead by example, if we want them to grow up to be smart, kind, trustworthy, shouldn’t we have all those values ourselves? Remember as parents you’re not perfect and you make mistakes, but that’s okay as long as you are willing to learn for those mistakes so you and your family can grow together.